Five times Dani Reese wanted to say 'I love you'
by xheartxcorex
Summary: Knowing it is one thing - finding the courage to say it is another. Post-One - after coming to a 'revelation' Reese is finding it difficult to express her feelings in words.
1. Chapter 1 The Revelation

_Man, this was born out of a number of reasons 1, I miss Life. Seriously, its like my heart has been ripped out and trodden on by a stampede of elephants. Okay, I know I know, that was way dramatic.  
2. I love Damian Lewis and Sarah Shahi so much and their characterisations of Charlie Crews and Dani Reese and by god if fanfic is the only way I get to experience and enjoy them again, then voila, out comes fanfic. and 3. there really isn't enough fanfic out there so I thought I'd add to the pile :) (the very small pile hmph)  
_

_there will be five chapters of this particular fic. each one detailing a moment post-one where Reese wanted to spill the beans on her feelings for our boy. 3 _

_Disclaimer : I do not own Life, or any of the characters in this fic. I am simply using them to help ease my broken heart that we'll get no season three of Life - I'm still nursing the pain even after all these months! I hope I'm not alone  
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**FIVE TIMES DANI REESE WANTED TO SAY 'I LOVE YOU'  
CHAPTER ONE**

The Revelation

Bodner had taken her away. He had grabbed hold of her, as she stood paralysed on the spot, lead her to the car and she had not protested – too shocked over what had just happened.

Dani leant her head against the glass window, and watched the trees of the grove blurr together in a mixture of colours. She was saved... free from the fear, the horror of being in the clutches of such a man. She still felt sick remembering the way Roman had looked at her, that cruel sneer that constantly seemed to be on his face.  
She _was_ saved, but _he _wasn't, and that meant that she felt no relief, no warmth, no joy at being rescued. How could she... knowing what Charlie Crews had done so simply..._For her. _

When she had seen him, and they had walked towards each other, there had been a strange fluttering in her heart. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was tainted with feelings of pain because she knew this revelation had come at such a time that it very well could have been the last time she'd ever lay eyes on him. Her chest ached, and she found that she couldn't catch her breath.

"Crews", her voice was not strong like it normally was, it did not hold that bitter edge that it always seemed to, her voice came out in a whisper, choked and filled with regret and panic. Panic, not just because of what lay ahead for her partner, but because of the revelation. It was burning inside her and she would have cast such a feeling away in disgust at any other time. But she found as they walked closer towards each other, so close that if she could just ... reach out, she'd feel the warmth of his skin against hers - she could not dispel the feelings – no matter how overwhelming they were.

"Just breathe" he whispered back. As usual ,his voice was calm and held a serene quality – it might be something akin to....acceptance. Whether it was acceptance about his current predicament or he understood just as she had – the complexity of their relationship. It was deeper than either of them had expected and she saw, as their eyes met, dark and light- yin and yang – that he had seen her panic and tried to help her through it.

And now, she was sitting as a helpless...and _hopeless_ passenger with the same feeling inside – only now the panic was replaced with gnawing regret and despair. He was gone.... he was with them... and there was a big chance that he was already dead.

Dead... gone... dust.... empty. She'd be alone.

There was that panic again as the words reverberated in her skull...._She'd be alone!  
_Who else did she have? Her life, that which had felt empty for so long – had changed. The Change had been so subtle that it was bearly even noticble when sometimes she found herself actually _smiling_, when she found herself _warm_ instead of the ever present cold that she had felt inside. But now she saw it all, and she could lie and say that it was because time had healed her wounded heart, or because finally she was in a semi-healthy relationship with a man rather than just nameless – faceless one night stands. But she knew the change was not because of Tidwell, as much as she hoped it could be. So quickly Crews had become apart of her life and by god had she tried to fight it and deny it all she wanted but he was..._everything._

'He's gone' she thought

"Stop!" she whispered, so quiet that Bodner didn't even hear her. She managed to raise her voice – but she could not hide the slight hint of hysteria in her tone.  
"Stop!" Bodner glanced at her, a frown inbetween his brows.  
"Go back... now!" she ordered desperately "We have to go back"

She wasn't thinking clearly and on some level she knew this – even if they went back, he'd still be gone. She couldn't help but imagine his limp and lifeless body dumped on some random street corner, broken and bloody.

But then she saw him, as they drove, the sunlight lighting his red hair and pale skin up like a lantern. He was bright – and so beautiful and – She gasped – there was that feeling again.

She remembered the very first day she had met him, he had asked her a question.

_Anyone ever love you that much?_A small smile spread out across her mouth, she could not stop it – and she saw in the soft – calm smile that marred his own face – that perhaps she might be able to answer that question with a yes.

_Someday..._

She got out of the car so fast that it had barely even stopped. The small smile had turned into a full grin and it was ridiculous because she was not a 'grin' person but at this perfect moment she just didn't care!

She walked towards him, stopping when they were only inches from each other. Still there was no touching – the wall was not broken. They did not touch – ever. That was Dani's fault probably – the unspoken no touching rule which Crews had _mostly_ followed without question. When they had both reached out to touch each other, their fingers barely brushing – it had been like a cruel joke. Never touching – Dani Reese and Charlie Crews – but always so very close.

She could have slapped herself, they were close enough now, for her to just...lean in and rest her body on his, to reach out and touch his face but still she did not move. The grin disappeared.

"Hello" he said simply, the small smile was still there on his face.

His simple word had her heart ache, he said it so simply....like the fact that he had just risked his own life for her was really no big deal. Oh, but it was – to her.

Her eyes watered, and she cursed herself, because she was still Dani Reese and she did _not_ cry. Especially not in front of people, even more so, not in front of people who were currently eyeing her so intensly.

She forced a small smile on her lips  
"Hey" she replied, her voice strained.

His blue eyes ran over her features, seemingly looking for something. They were so close and she wanted to touch him so much, but still she did not move, and neither did he.

"You okay?" he asked.

'No – not at all' she wanted to say, but she smiled tightly and much to her chagrin, she felt a tear on the verge of spilling over and down her cheek. She felt vulnerable and she hated it.

"I'm okay. You okay?" she asked.

He smiled softly and gave a curt nod "I'm okay" he said repeating her words.

It was on the tip of her tongue, just waiting to come out – the revelation. How easy and quickly it would be to say and in a way she knew that the respone would not be bad. But she still could not say the words and she wondered if she'd ever be able to say them.... to anyone. Was she really that broken? she wondered idly.

Then there was warmth and a pleasant tingling sensation radiating from her hand and up her arm. She looked down to see a pale hand gently holding her own. She looked up and saw him, he was not smiling anymore but he was looking at her just as intensly.  
"I'm glad that you're...okay" he said. His words filled with so much meaning.

Say it "I.." say it!! "I'm glad that you're okay too". Coward.

His only respone was a smile.

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TBC ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

i really hope you like it. I tried to make it subtle... because I always like those fics the best :)

chapter two will be up soon.  
R&R


	2. Chapter 2 Yesterday is lost

_here is part two of five, I am unsure how I feel about it, but I hope you all enjoy it anyways. :)  
thanks to all! xx_

_disclaimer : life and its characters are not owned by me, I am simply using them in my story - for fun and not for sale._

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**_FIVE TIMES DANI REESE WANTED TO SAY 'I LOVE YOU'  
CHAPTER TWO _**

**  
_Yesterday is lost._**

It was a slow day, there were no pending cases to solve, no 'fighting crime' as Crews always put it. Today, Dani was simply sitting at her desk, attempting to concentrate on her paper work. She sighed as she looked at the ever-growing pile of paper. Her mind always seemed to be somewhere else these days and this lack of concentration seemed to be taking its toll on her work – as much as she hated it. It didn't help that half of the reason for the lack of concentration was the man sitting across from her.

She allowed herself the chance to glance up at him. Crews sat there, leaning back against his chair, his hair slightly mussed as though he had run his hands through it one too many times. Dani had to fight the urge to reach across and run her own hands through it. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at the strange piece of fruit in his hands. It was both annoying and intriguing– his obsession with fruit. Sometimes Dani didn't know whether to scowl or laugh at him.

It had been nearly a month since the events of the orange grove where Crews had made that life-changing swap. It was that swap that had changed everything for her. She figured afterwards as she lay in her warm bed, Tidwell's arms wrapped around her tight, that things would go back to normal and that the sudden relisation that her feelings for her partner were more complicated than she thought would simply disappear. But it hadn't – in fact it seemed the revelation had simply unlocked or... awakened the feelings that had already been there. She knew she had felt affection for him – cared for him even – long before, but now she knew without a doubt – she loved him.  
She frowned to herself.... or did she? Did she really love him or was it that 'hero-worship' that people talked about. Crews had saved her – sacrificed himself and now she was in awe of him?  
She cringed – that wasn't her.... it couldn't be her.... that was just ridiculous...  
The worse part of the whole thing – worse than the confusion over her feelings for Crews, worse that her inability to really decipher Crew's feelings for her, the very worst part was what she was doing to their captain – her boyfriend.

In the wonderful feeling of relief after their reunion Dani hadn't even given Tidwell a thought.

Afterwards at the hospital, when the doctors had been looking over her, Crews had been there, sitting by her bedside and spouting out random facts about places she'd never been too and things she'd never heard of. She was tired, but she'd still laid back against the bed with hooded eyes and a soft smile on her lips and listened because she was just thankful that things had worked out so well. They were both alive and that was all that really mattered – she had desperately put the confusing feelings to the back of her mind – she'd work that out when she'd had a good night's sleep.  
For now she had wanted to listen to his voice – it was quiet and despite the topic of his conversation there was something oddly intimate about his tone of voice. It had warmed her at the time, she remembered. She sighed to herself as she thought back on it – when everything seemed wonderful and she had glossed over all the complicated and very real issues she now had to work out.

"And apparently it can be used as some kind of aphrodisiac" he said, his voice low. His eyes flickered up to the nurse that was checking her over before he leant forward and lowered his voice even more "I'm just thinking, wow, now there is a piece of fruit I'd want to try, wouldn't you Reese" he asked.

The nurse, who looked a good thirty years older than Crews, frowned disapprovingly. Dani bit her lip, a grin breaking out across her face. It was so strange- this feeling, it had her doing uncharacteristic things and on some level she wasn't entirely comfortable with it. But frankly she was too giddy to ponder it.

The nurse cleared her throat "Well, despite your ordeal you seem to be fine, but like Dr. Neilson said, you still need your rest Miss Reese. Perhaps it's time for your visitor to leave" she said in a pompous tone

Dani blinked 'Oh no way' she thought. There was no way she was going to be forced to spend the night there!

"Oh..." Crews gave a tight lipped smile "Okay, well, I'll just go. I'll see you later Reese" he got up out of the chair.

Impulsively, Dani reached out to stop him, her hand grasping his tightly. He looked at their hands, and then his eyes flickered up to meet hers.  
"Its okay" she muttered, "You don't have to go"

Their gaze held, and it very well could have been mere seconds but it was one of those moments- the ones where a second could last a lifetime. Suddenly the easy and comfortable feeling that had been in the room just moments before was gone, instead, replaced with thick tension. Dani didn't know if he felt it, but she sure did. It was like a heavy weight that surrounded the both of them – heavy with unspoken words. All the feelings that she had pushed away, flew forward- invading the forefront of her mind. She tried to keep it from showing on her face – but when she felt her skin flush and her face twitch, she knew she had failed.

Crews stood there, in a sort of frozen stases, halfway between walking away and sitting back down. His eyebrows were raised slightly, looking unsure about the whole situation. Dani was just about ready to dive under the white hospital covers and hope to disappear, when his face suddenly softened. As always with Charlie Crews- his eyes were still intense, but his expression was no longer unsure or shocked, it was...knowing, just like it had been as they had walked towards each other during the swap. Then she felt it, the warm caress of his hand on hers. She looked down at their hands, where his thumb had begun to gently trace her skin. He let out a sigh – as though finally a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and yet at the same time it was like a whole new weight had settled in its place – leading to a whole new ache.

The ache, Dani felt it like a white light burning through her heart – it was painful and unlike anything she'd felt in a long time. But, the ache – it was the most magnificent kind of pain. It was pure, warm and it left her reeling, it left her wanting. She let out a small gasp, her eyes fluttering closed when his hand trailed from her hand to her wrist- his caress soft but fleeting. All too soon he seemed to pull away. Dani's eyes snapped open when there was another voice in the room – a voice calling her name. It was the familiar loud and obnoxious voice of Kevin Tidwell. His hair was messy, his expression weary, but most of all, his eyes were wide with both worry and relief.

It was just the three of them – it seemed at some point during her and Crews 'moment' the nurse had decided to leave the room. Crews had let go of her hand and placed them in his pockets, giving Tidwell a tight-lipped smile. Tidwell didn't seem to notice the awkwardness in the room and immediately walked towards her, hands cupping her face, running the pads of his fingers down her cheek. Dani rolled her eyes and batted his hands away "Stop it, I'm fine"

"Yeah well.... way to go and scare the crap out of us" he said loudly

"I'm sorry" she said sarcastically "next time The Russian mob comes knocking, I'll make sure I don't get kidnapped"

Tidwell nodded "You better"

Suddenly Crews cleared his throat, breaking the silence that had filled the room "Uh, I should probably go. Get some rest," he went to leave before pausing and turning back around "I'll send you a fruit basket – nothing says 'get well' better than a fruit basket". Though his words were his usual zen-fruit-obsessed rambling, there was a strange edge to his tone – which only she seemed to be picking up.

She sighed as she watched her partner from across their desks – that had been a month ago now and besides looks and glances that sometimes lasted longer than they should, nothing had really happened between them. But she felt it. Despite appearances their relationship was no longer strictly platonic and still she had not left Tidwell. Guilt welled inside her gut, churning away at her insides again. All that time when she had been in the basement, when Roman had taunted her she had not thought about Tidwell - the only words she remembered repeating in her head was a mantra of  
Crews will come for me, he won't leave me, he'll come!Even afterwards when she had been at the hospital getting checked out, she hadn't even thought about what this probably had done to Tidwell. She knew he loved her – loved her in a way that while it warmed her cold shell – she could not return. Dani knew that staying with him while she was in love with someone else was wrong but she also knew that she was a bitch. It was simply a defence mechanism on her part. Some part of her believed that perhaps she hadn't left him because it meant that she would be available, that perhaps something could happen between her and her partner. If she stayed with Tidwell – there was still that barrier between them that would keep them apart. She scoffed silently – always the complicated one. She was such a cliché that it made her sick – the broken girl who had built a wall around herself for protection against getting hurt.

"Reese...you know what's interesting?"

Dani sighed "What's interesting Crews?"

"Time." He said simply, as though that explained everything. Dani raised her eyebrows "Time?" she repeated. Crews nodded.

"You and me – in this moment, me saying these words to you – it only happens this once and then it's over. Time is always moving, and you always think there'll be more time – until there isn't and you can't go back once time has passed. So, Time itself may go on forever – but yesterday is always lost."

He seemed to lean forward, his elbows resting on the desk. "Each moment...each word we say... is lost after it happens...just....gone"

To Dani's surprise, his words actually struck a chord in her. Despite the very Crews-way he said them – they were still true. Once a moment passed – that was it, it was gone forever. The thought scared her, which in itself surprised her. Dani didn't scare easy – she was hard and encased in a shell of armour. She had to be to do her job. But still the thought actually scared her. Who knew when she'd run out of time – it could be that afternoon and the man sitting in front of her would never know. Not to mention, how much time could she waste – second after second, day after day, week after week? Could it be years before she found the courage to tell him? Would it be too late?, would he have finally found someone – perhaps a woman from his past, his ex-wife?.... perhaps it would be his lawyer – that Constance woman. It all left a bitter taste in her mouth and a sick feeling in her gut.

But... could she risk it? If she told him, it could very well turn out to be the worst mistake of her life. But not telling him... she pondered thoughtfully, could that turn out to be the worst mistake of her life? Even at her fairly young age, she felt old, as though she had lived through one disaster after another – and it constantly wore her out – she saw the same thing in Crew's eyes every day. With everything that had happened – everything she had done- she had to live with a lot of regrets – regrets she now wished she could go back in time and remove. But time did not allow you to go back - it was cruel – it was unforgiving and forever moving. Did she really want to add another regret to her list?  
Her hands shook slightly as she looked up at him. He was still looking at her – the same pensive expression marring his weathered features. It was as though his bright blue eyes were daring her to speak – pulling the words out from her mouth, even though she had grown so used to shoving her feelings back inside. She felt her heart stutter inside her chest. Biting her lip, she stared back – they never broke eye contact.

"Crews.... I...." she started. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady her rapidly beating heart. She opened her eyes and tried again "There's something that I...." she trailed off and he cocked his head to the side in curiosity. "You know after Roman and what you did... I realised that I-"

She was cut off by the ringing of his phone, and she was unsure whether she wanted to scream in frustration or scream out in joy. He answered his phone, but even as he talked to the person on the other end, his eyes never left hers.

After he hung up he sighed, getting up from his seat "We got a body in an alley – a body of man dressed as a woman in an alley"

"Oh" Dani nodded.

He paused "What were you going to say?" he asked.

Dani bit her lip. Say it... "I.... nothing, don't worry about it" she said with a wave of her hand "It's not important"

Crews shrugged before turning to leave.

Another moment that was gone forever – Dani sighed to herself, Time could go screw itself.

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_and that is that.  
Poor Dani *sighs* lol  
r & r please 3 _


	3. Chapter 3 Not enough time

_Thank you to every one who read and everyone who reviewed, i really do appreciate it !!  
Its like.... sunshine on a cloudy day XD ...... although unfortunately I live in Australia, and its summer here at the moment so we get too many sunny days ... *sighs* so many that you begin to hate sunny days. I miss the cold already! Tooooo hot *fans self*_

anyways.. I'm getting off topic XD here is chapter three of the fic, and the turning point - where things really start to build up! hope you all enjoy it!

disclaimer : like i've said before, I do not own life, or its characters. I'm a fangirl, whose too in love with the characters to let it go XD damn you NBC *waves fist*

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**FIVE TIMES DANI REESE WANTED TO SAY 'I LOVE YOU'  
Chapter three  
Not enough time. **

It had been two months since the orange grove and things had pretty much gotten back to normal...almost. After her second attempt at telling her partner her feelings she had come to the conclusion that it would have been a mistake. They were partners – and that was how they'd stay.  
While things were _almost _the same as they had been, they were closer now, their friendship or whatever you'd call it was on a whole new level – something that she couldn't really put a name to. It wasn't romantic but it wasn't platonic either. Whatever it was, Dani didn't want to ruin it by saying the words. The _words_ – they were just stupid words that were thrown around all the time without any meaning behind them – but how was she supposed to express the meaning behind the words? She just didn't know how anymore. She didn't even know for sure if he felt that way about her. Every time she wanted to reach over grab him by his suit jacket and pull him in, she'd convince herself that he didn't feel that way – it dulled the fiery ache she felt in the pit of her guts, like throwing a bucket of cold water on someone who was very horny. But then came those moments where she would catch glimpses of him looking at her. It normally happened when they were sitting in the car, she'd see him staring from the corner of her eyes and sometimes it happened when they were sitting at their desks. She'd be leaning over her paperwork, face screwed up in concentration – and that concentration would just fly right out the window when she felt the familiar feeling of his burning gaze. Her eyes would flicker up to meet his. In these moments, there were never any words spoken between them – there never needed to be. She never thought it would be possible to have a conversation with someone without saying anything – especially with someone like Charlie Crews, who never seemed to stop talking. It was these moments where she thought about how easy it would be to simply lean forward and press her lips to his.

One thing that had definitely changed however was her relationship with Tidwell – which selfishly she had still prolonged. She cared about him – yes, but she also knew that she didn't feel about him the way she should have. If she had any chance of calling herself a good person she should have ended their relationship. It wasn't fair to him, he who was clearly more invested in the relationship than she was. But as the weeks had gone by, she had begun to think that on some level he already knew.

In the beginning – when she had been in the hospital, he had been oblivious to the tension that had been in the room - too focused on her and the fact that she was safe. But as the weeks went by and she found herself pulling away from him, she'd often seen the sad expression in his eyes. He'd wrap his arms around her waist, and as subtly as she could, she'd move away – not bothering to look back to see the disappointment in his eyes again. Sometimes he'd open his mouth as if to say something – but then close it again – always leaving things unsaid – just as she was with Crews. It was ridiculous this whole thing – her, Tidwell and Crews – it was the type of thing you'd always see on television – and here it was playing out in front of her like some kind of soap opera.

It was a warm day; the sun was beating down heavily, lighting up the car they were parked in and warming her skin. Dani pushed her sunglasses higher on her nose and wiped the sweat from her brow, cringing slightly as she found her hair was plastered to her face. They were on a 'stake out' – although it wasn't _really_ a stake out as she had said a number of times to the man sitting beside her.  
They were simply waiting outside a small gas station on a humid afternoon for a man named Jeff Stanton to come out. As normal as a name such as 'Jeff Stanton' sounded – Crews was convinced he had something to do with the murder case they were working on.

A few days prior, a fifteen year old boy was found dead. Supposedly he had gotten caught up in a drug ring. He had worked part time at the gas station they were currently looking at and according to one of his friends- was working with the owner who happened to be working for a man named Jeff Stanton. In the beginning Jeff Stanton had seemed like a normal enough guy – he had a wife, two kids, a white picket fence, a golden retriever – the whole package. Dani had been sceptical, and had said as much to her partner – telling him that men like Jeff Stanton were not drug lords but after talking with him, Crews had been adamant that the guy knew _something. _'No one is that twitchy if they no nothing.' he'd said, before adding 'no one knows nothing' for good measure. So here they were, following the man in question all the way to gas station in question.

"Okay... so he went to the gas station. It's a gas station Crews...Where people buy gas. It could just be coincidence" she'd said.

But he'd sat there, still and calm, watching the gas station with narrowed eyes and said "Nothing is a coincidence"

she'd rolled her eyes "yeah, everything is connected, I know".

She had thought it could have been a coincidence, but Jeff Stanton had been in that gas station for a long time – long enough that she was pretty damn sure it had nothing to do with buying gas.

"He's taking a long time to buy gas" he muttered, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Dani looked to him, instinctively grabbing her gun from her holster – watching as Crews did the same.

As they were walking towards the gas station, a loud gunshot broke through the air. It was like a loud clap of thunder on an otherwise silent night. It shot both of them into action; they ran forth into the gas station, their guns drawn and ready. In the back of Dani's mind she had expected to see Jeff Stanton there with his gun drawn, the body of the owner – Mikhail Vermont, crumpled on the floor. What they were faced with shocked her. The first thing she saw, lying on the floor, was Jeff Stanton. He was wearing a white polo shirt, only now the white was stained red, a dark hole in his chest. His eyes were wide and vacant – a look of shock masking his face. Her eyes travelled up and met the terrified face of Gabriel Hastings – it was the friend of the kid they'd found.  
His face was a pale white, and his cheeks were wet with tears, though the gun was still drawn, his hands were trembling so much that he looked as though he could barely grip it properly. In the corner, wearing a shocked expression was Mikhail Vermont, his arms up in surrender, despite the fact that the gun wasn't even pointed at him.

Crews, with his gun pointing at Gabriel, took a tentative step forward. "Gabriel..." he said calmly "Drop the gun".

Dani's heart skipped a beat when Gabriel moved to point the gun directly at Crews. "He killed Jake!" He let out with a sob.

Crews nodded "I know, I know he did... but he's gone now Gabriel, you can drop the gun now."

Gabriel's eyes widened as they flickered to the body on the floor, "I-I k-killed him".

A choking noise ripped from his throat – pained and frightened. Dani knew this was just a kid, but he was pained and frightened and that made him all the more dangerous. His shaking hands were still wrapped around a _gun_ – a gun that was pointed at Crews.  
"Drop the gun or I'll shoot" she bit out as forcefully as she could despite the slight tremor in her own voice.

"It w-wasn't Jakes fault!" he sobbed. "Stanton – he was paying him for selling the drugs. B-but they took his bag,k-kids at school –the drugs" he whimpered, it was pitiful and Dani, as hard as she was, felt a small twinge in her heart "Stanton _killed _him. It wasn't his fault!"

As usual, Crews was doing something dangerous – stupid, in order to help this kid. He took a step forward, which only made the kid tighten his grip on the gun. Dani felt her heart beating ferociously against her rib cage – she could hear the blood pumping in her ears, and she nearly cursed Crews out loud when she saw him lift his hand towards the boy, to the hand holding the gun.  
"Give me the gun Gabriel" he added softly "Stanton killed Jake, but he's gone now, you can let them go"

Gabriel was so jumpy that when Crews went to grab the gun out of his hands, he jumped back, making sure the gun was still pointed on him  
"Stay away!" he screamed "stay away...." he repeated, his voice so small, it reminded Dani of a child.

Crews took a step back; giving Gabriel room, "its okay, its okay"

"I had to do it.... I had to. He would have killed me...I knew what he did. He would have killed me!" he repeated.

It felt like everything was moving in slow motion – like something out of a movie. Even before it happened – before the sound echoed through the gas station, before she saw her partner fall to the ground, she knew what was going to happen, and yet she was frozen to the spot. The gun went off in Gabriel's hands, hitting Crews right in the chest. Her head spun around – as she watched Crew's gun fall from his hands, as he looked down to see the wound on his chest. It was like re-living a nightmare – the worst kind of déjà vu.

"I-I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to... I'm sorry....Oh god" Gabriel cried as he backed away from the scene. Dani made eye contact with him for about a second before he turned and disappeared through the back.

Crews had crumpled to the floor. Her own gun fell from her hands, and in what must only have been seconds, she was on her knees by his side.

He was still conscious, but the bullet must have nicked his lung – again, for his breath was choked and his hands clutched at his chest. "R-reese" he choked out.  
She placed her hands on the wound, shivering at the sickening feeling of warm blood oozing through her fingers.  
"Its okay" she said, but her voice came out in nothing more than a whisper – she couldn't believe she was doing this again. "It's okay" she repeated.

She swung around to look at the frozen form of Mikhail Vermont "Call an ambulance, now!" she ordered. When she turned back to look at Crews, his face was a sickening shade of white – which made her stomach churn uncomfortably, it only got worse when she saw the growing pool of blood around his wound, and on the floor beneath his body.  
There was a small smile on his lips – but where normally it would have been that calm-Charlie Crews smile, it was pained as he trembled and struggled to breathe.

"I don't know about you..." he managed to wheeze out, "But I'm having a serious case of déjà vu"

Dani felt a small laugh exit her mouth, but it was fake – empty. "Just hold on" she whispered, staring into his wide eyes.

He reached for her hand, as though he was clinging onto her warmth – her life. He groaned in pain, squeezing her hand tight. His eyes started to roll into the back of his head and she felt cold panic race through her veins. She leaned forward placing her hands on his cheeks "Hey....Crews. Stay with me" she ordered.  
She watched as he tried to open his eyes and saw his crumpled expression as he fought the incoming darkness. "Just breathe" she whispered.

His eyes met hers, and a strange calmness washed over him. Despite the pain, a serene smile appeared on his lips, as he heard his own words coming out of her mouth.  
"I'm sorry Dani" he choked out, "there's not enough time"

She was sure the look on her face was fierce, angry almost- but the tears in her eyes, no doubt gave her away. "Shut up" she ordered "you have lots of time. _We_ have lots of time"

The words were coming out of her own mouth and yet to her horror she found that she didn't truly believe them. So when the tight grip he had on her hand began to loosen and his eyes began to flutter shut, she let out a loud shuddering breath and leant forward, pressing her lips to his. They weren't warm like they should have been, they were dry and cracked. She whimpered into his mouth when she didn't feel him kiss her back. She moved away from his mouth, brushing her lips against his jaw, his cheek and finally reaching his ear. "Charlie..." she whispered, and she faintly heard a shuddering intake of breath. "Don't leave me" she squeezed her eyes shut. The words were already forming on her lips – and this time she wasn't going to change her mind. – _One moment and its gone forever – lost. _

Before the words came out of her mouth however, they were no longer alone – there were people surrounding them. She felt them gently move her out of the way, she saw them talk in voices and words that she could hear but couldn't understand. They moved around in sync with each other, before they lifted him onto a stretcher and wheeled him into the ambulance. All the while she stood there, shaking, with Charlie Crew's blood all over her hands.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and a faint voice "You can ride in the ambulance if you want"

She nodded distantly before being lead into the ambulance. She watched as they worked to keep him alive all the way to the hospital – the nearly uttered words echoing in her head and on her tongue.

_I love you_

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

aaaand we are finished

:) you know what to do people.

it really does make me happy XD 

and also, by the way.

_HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE, I WISH THE BEST FOR THE COMING YEAR - 2010 IS HERE! _


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